Finishing Well (fb)

I received the following email from the organization that sponsors my favorite organized cycling event.  They have hosted the most successful event in OKC for 17 years and they have decided to call it quits.  And it isn't like they're quitting after years of deteriorating participation and sponsorship and participant experience.  No, they're quitting at the top of their game - the height of popularity.  Why?  Because someone had the guts to say - "this is no longer the thing we are supposed to spend energy on given our vision."  That is so courageous.  I can imagine that there are people whose livelihoods depend on this event.  There are probably people who will lose much of their identity when this event ceases.  "The cycling community loves it, the community loves it, the sponsors love it...everyone will be so sad, so upset..."  I've never been more proud to be associated with these people - good for them.  Most organizations don't have the courage to end things that no longer serve the vision.

Les Mis already killin me

Stacy and I sat on the front row of the balcony at the Queen's Theatre in London.  For most of the musical my jaw was dropped, leaning over the rail and tears running down my face.  It was one of the most profound pictures of grace I've ever seen.  That spot, deep in my heart that believes in grace got dug out just a little deeper that night.  I just watched this little preview of the upcoming Les Miserables movie.  I didn't make it to the end, fearing I might just start audibly weeping in the office.  Can't wait to take my kids to see this movie - praying that the grace well in them might become excavated even deeper while their hearts are still so soft.

Tenacious forgiveness... (fb)

Today is a good day.  My calendar says I get to eat Indian food with Neil.  He is my most intense friend, living life with a tenacity that is rarely modeled.  His level of discipline and focus is extraordinary when he commits to a goal.  He is in his 50's and competes in endurance sports, often successfully smoking the best of the 20 and 30-somethings.

Today is a good day.  My devotional reading was based on Matthew 5:44 "love your enemies..." and told a reconciliation story.  When a body is healed we call it a miracle- unfortunately we often ignore festering relational wounds that have infected the Body.  My friends have been through a battle and they are still married - it's a miracle worth shouting from the rooftops.

Today is a good day.  I am reminded that kindness, gentleness, and humility characterize Jesus and those that know him best.  And I am committed to pursue a heart that is quick to forgive, quick to reconcile, slow to judge, slow to criticize - with the tenacity that Neil trains for a bike race let me pursue forgiveness.

Can't stop thinking about... (fb)

Three things keep coming back to me daily over the past couple of weeks - wish there was time to unpack:


1.  People need to be encouraged


Loving encouragement is like finding water in the desert - it lifts and blesses.  How can I be a great encourager to the people I have the privilege of relating with?


2.  His capacity was 12


Vision for the Church, for the church, for multiple businesses, social entrepreneurship, city transformation, neighborhood development, racial reconciliation, local food, marriage, kids, maintaining relationships, develop young leaders, Africa, marginalized women, urban core, suburban edge, Young Life, endurance lifestyle, connect, train...  Jesus never came up with a program, didn't hold conferences, left once it became a crowd, didn't build an organization or a building, didn't need a facility or a staff, didn't spend energy building a network, collecting friends, or building buzz.  He had the greatest capacity, skill, gifts of any human that ever lived and had a vision to change everything forever.  His method was to invest relationally, as a lifestyle,  in 12 people- and one of those twisted off.  In a "hit" culture am I willing to live in the reality that the way to change the world is to invest in a few?  I've been given a wife, two kids, and a handful of young men and women who seem blessed when I serve them.  The people who do that well change the world.  How can I do that better and be satisfied in it?


3.  Living in "vision-realized" and too happy to notice


Moses, David, John, Paul... It begins with vision and destiny.  Suffering and desert bring intimacy with God.  At some point they begin to walk in "vision-realized" but by then He is the vision and a sense of His nearness makes the strivers dream irrelevant.  Lord, I want to stand in the middle of a raging revival of city transformation and have that pale in comparison to the raging fire happening in my own heart from a sense of nearness to you.  

Healing by Community (fb)

A recent Wall Street Journal article told the story of Lance Corporal Seth Voie- how he watched his best friend killed by a mine- how he dealt with the incredible loss- how the Marines are rethinking emotional trauma and how to best help men like Lance Cpl. Voie.

The devastation experienced by Lance Cpl. Voie in Afghanistan takes place in hearts and lives every day- the unexpected death of a loved one, the betrayal of a spouse, financial ruin.  Things that involve loss – loss that feels like total loss of everything.  How does one begin to rebuild, replace, relive…re-live…live again?

I wouldn’t pretend to know how most people, most cultures handle heart trauma- but have watched one particular people-group enough to have noticed a pattern.  They tend to linger in denial, over-spiritualize, retreat, isolate, and seek specialized individual treatment- usually in the form of paid counselors.  Sometimes there is an initial reaction of generosity in the form of food and cards, but by and large, the community tends to give space- content to wait until the grieving one reengages at their own pace, in their own way, if ever at all.  There is a general sense that healing is best left to trained professionals.  It’s not surprising, since this particular culture has generally embraced paid specialists for many of the significant parts of community life.

So what did the Marines do with a heartbroken Lance Corporal Voie?   “Sgt. Tippett and his men rallied around Lance Cpl. Seth Voie…There was no formal therapy, no group intervention, just casual conversations.  They shared stories of lost friends and gruesome moments.  They let him mourn, but refused to let him wallow in “why-him?” and “what –if?”  They kept him fighting.”  The Marines have been studying mental-health issues intently, referring to research that the Israeli military did in the 1980s.  “The latest research suggests troops handle battlefield stress better, and avoid post-war problems more often, when they heal among their comrades.”  “The closer they are to their buddies, and the company they trained and deployed with, the better chance you have of returning them to combat.”  The Marines are finding out that soldiers’ hearts heal best when they are quickly connected to their community and reengaged in their mission. 

All of the biblical material that describes this global community called Church jibes with the following in regards to trauma and healing:

-       Expect regular trauma at a deep heart level as a result of living in the “now but not yet”- we are an army at war and there will be casualties

-       Much of that trauma is relational and some can be avoided with an intense commitment to healthy relationships and aggressive conflict resolution “in the family”

-       The most dangerous thing a wounded person can do is to become isolated from their community

-       Healing should primarily take place in the context of community and mission.  Community is a group of people who do life together.  Mission is the lifestyle of the community called Church – it isn’t a meeting or an activity, it certainly isn’t formal “ministry.”  Under no circumstances should something involving a stage or a title be confused with mission- generally those things are hindrances to healing.

The Marines are discovering principles that a Creator built into our communal DNA.  Perhaps the next generation of American Christians will have the courage to love our wounded differently.

*  All quotes are from the article “Rx for Combat Stress: Comradeship”  Wall Street Journal April 2, 2011.

A Fourth Option (fb)

My new friend Steve works with families battling breast cancer.  We met on a long bike ride and he floated out this little wisdom nugget then moved on like it was something that everybody knows.  But everybody doesn't know.  He was talking about the astounding statistics on the number of men that bail on their wives during the breast cancer battle.  And he said "when men are faced with a tough situation they choose one of three options":  


1.  Control It
2.  Fix It
3.  Get away from it


He tries to help men find a fourth option when faced with something they definitely can't control or fix.


A couple of years ago my friend David Brown floated a similar wisdom nugget out during an innocent lunch.  "People have heard that finances are the number one reason that Christians get divorced but that's not true.  In my experience it is this- male withdrawal in the face of conflict."  


Families, marriages, communities, and nations need a generation of men who will seek a fourth option in the face of conflict.  My friend Diane calls it GMS - "good male strength."  It is a tender tenacity born from humility - a humility that is grounded in complete surrender to a God who is strong when we are weak.  The fourth option looks anything but weak, anything but passive - it engages, it revels in things that were once in the dark being exposed to the light, it seeks wisdom in community, delights in accountability, and embraces utter dependence on the presence and power of the one called Counselor.

No fail weight loss strategy (fb)

Listening to an NPR interview with the authors of the Longevity Project - an 80 year project studying the factors that contribute to longevity or the lack thereof.  A caller asked the question on everybody's mind, "You have stated that the key to longevity is the lifestyle choices that we already know about - eat lean meats, lots of veggies, portion control, exercise, etc.  But did you discover the best way to implement that lifestyle?"  The author answered with no hesitation, "Fantastic question - yes, we discovered that there is one factor that virtually guarantees success in starting and/or maintaining a lifestyle leading to longevity."  His enthusiasm had me riveted to hear that answer.  Books, videos, programs, places, and people bring in bajillions every year selling things that claim to provide the answer to the question - but this guy was claiming the one surefire thing - free- on NPR.  "The key to a healthy lifestyle is to hang around healthy people."  


Of course it is.  The key to any lifestyle change is to be in community with people who value the things you value.  It is the way Jesus modeled how to teach one-another to live in his Kingdom.  You hang out with people who value the things Jesus values - the things he modeled and taught in places like Matthew 5.  You don't do discipleship via book, program, study, class, or creed.  You get discipled by doing life with disciples.  Figure out who you want to be and then hang out with people who are more like that than you are - or at least are heading in the same direction.


I experienced a moment on Thursday.  Four men that I want to be like spontaneously showed up at the same place at the same time.  We laughed and made small talk.  That moment filled my sails with a mega-dose of faith.  


Want to be synical and bitter?  Hang around the bitter synics.
Want to be a lush?  Hang with lushes.  
Want to be a health freakazoid?  Hang around with people who are obsessed with their bodies.  
Want to be a go-kart racer?  Find the go-kart racers.  
Want to sit and listen?  Connect primarily with the sitters and listeners.  
Want to be a fearful parent?  Hang around fearful parents.  
Want to be proud?  Hang with the proud.  
Want a humble heart characterized by dogged dependence on the presence and power of the Holy Spirit - driven by heartsick gratitude for one who would call us beloved?  ...  You will find them in a place that is guaranteed to make you uncomfortable - and once you do - accept the invitation to the table- and stop believing you don't belong.